I would like to preface this whole article by saying that pain is universal. We all have our own source of what we call "pain." It's foolishness to say "I've been through more than you" when you've never walked a mile in their shoes. Keep that in mind as you read this.
Today is my birthday, and I want to take this opportunity to shed a light on something that is very close to my heart. Until five months ago, I never thought I would be the victim of something that is becoming a common thread in this day and age. This is suicide.
"For young people 15-24 years old, suicide is the second leading cause of death."
May 9th, 2014, I found myself in a very scary place. If it wasn't one thing, it was another, and I could not catch a break. It's too much to go into detail, but at that point in my life, I was done. I had just got home from work, and was sitting in my apartment will some sleeping pills in my hand. I fought with myself going through every scenario in my mind. I didn't know what to do. I had been completely overtaken by some spirit, and I could not break free. My mindset was "if I could just go to sleep for a long time, maybe all of these problems I've been having will disappear." Before I could fight any longer, I remember putting the pills in my mouth, and swallowing all of them. Out of complete fear, I called the paramedics almost immediately.
I spent that night in the ICU after a series of test and stomach pumps, and had the whole night to completely rethink my life. The most mortifying thing that happened was having to see my Mom and Dad see me the way they did. It was a look I will never forget.
I bring this up because suicide attempts are becoming more and more every year. The statistics are staggering. I found hope in a Man named Jesus over a decade ago, and I still found myself in a position where I could have ended my life. Had I not acted quickly, and had I survived even after not calling the ambulance, I could be on dialysis for the rest of my life. That's how much my dosage was. "Ah, that's not a lot." For me, it was. It was enough for me to feel like I didn't want to live anymore.
If you are depressed and feel like there is no hope, talk to somebody. You don't have to fight this fight alone. I am so thankful for two incredible men of God (and my family) who stood by me and fought for me in that time. Even after a suicide attempt, I was so ashamed to show my face to anyone; but the LORD put a new Word on my lips, and I've been on fire ever since. God is greater than suicide. I pray and hope this helps somebody to speak out about their demons. God bless!
For more information and statistics on suicide, visit: http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=705D5DF4-055B-F1EC-3F66462866FCB4E6
Knowing is understanding, and understanding is actions to helping.